I started this blog.

Here’s my motivation.

I was married for several years, and did not come out until late in life. I have two children, and had created an appearance on the outside that looked good to the rest of the world, at least in my eyes.

I know that there are many men out there, and ladies too, who got married in their 20’s because that was just what we did. We graduated high school or college, and found a spouse, and got married. Didn’t everybody? The ones that didn’t were looked upon as a bit different or weird. True? So, to fit into what we thought was our life plan, based on what we saw in the world, we got married.

If you’ve read my blog about Ricky Martin, you’ll have read about my example of a broken glass. I struggled for years trying to figure out what it was that was wrong with me. As an active conservative Protestant, I thought it was because I didn’t believe enough or study my Bible enough, or whatever was the subject of the day. I remember getting up early for a while, a year or two before I came out, studying through a particular study Bible, and still not getting that feeling of completeness that I was supposed to get. It was so very frustrating.

When I was growing up, I had no idea what the definitions of gay and homosexuality were. There were no icons except for Elton John and Liberace (I’m telling my age!), and I knew I wasn’t as flamboyant as they were! I knew of no one in my school or community that was gay. Even when I went off to college, that knowledge wasn’t there. I was very naive, when it came to those things. So, as I said above, I did what I thought I was supposed to do.

Needless to say, that didn’t work out so well. I eventually accepted myself, and came out, and ended my marriage. I know that there are many men out there that either have dealt or are still dealing with the same situation.

My purpose for this blog is to open up conversations in somewhat of a safe place. No names will be used, and/or situations, unless prior permission is given. My thought is that a name will be created if I ever use a situation, just for protection.

Coming out later in life creates a whole new set of issues. I had not dated in many years, and even when I did (before I was married), I didn’t know what I was doing, because I was dating girls, instead of understanding myself as being attracted to boys.

So, hopefully, my words will encourage someone who’s dealing with these same issues. I’m a witness to the fact that you can come out on the other side in one piece, and it’s a wonderful place to be.

I hope to hear from you.